Leigh and Hobby. Leigh has a lot of confidence and Hobby is learning from Leigh's leadership.

CONFIDENCE WITH HORSES

Confidence! Some of us have it and some don't. Some of us once had it but have lost it. Some of us are slowly gaining it back. Most of us understand how powerful and at the same time elusive the feeling can be.

Yes, confidence can be described as a feeling, a state of mind, the lack of fear or self-doubt. It knows that you have the ability, knowledge, and savvy to "get'r done". Confidence or the lack thereof affects our goals, motivation, relationships, and our self-image.

Success, knowledge and experience breed confidence. However, it may also be situational, depending on the environment and circumstances. It can be very fragile and lost in the blink of an eye. It depends on how a person perceives things at any given moment that determines whether confidence is being built or torn down. The more you know about any given situation and what to do about it the more confident you will be.

Confident riders communicate effectively with their horses. The outcome is a horse that is also confident, willing, and reliable. Most of us desire this kind of confidence. But how do we increase our confidence level and strengthen our self-image?

Confidence is a choice! There are certain choices we can make which will ensure confidence building, and other choices can destroy it. It won't always be easy and it will take self-discipline, desire, and a willingness to persevere.

Here are some suggestions of choices you can make which will lead to more confidence.

1. Choose preparation and time.

One of the best guarantees for more confidence is prior and proper preparation. This does require self-discipline and the patience to take the time it takes. It is important to practice with progression, purpose, and concentration. Just going through the motions won't get the desired results either. Skipping key elements in training is a sure way to ruin confidence of both the horse and the rider. Stick with a program it will help ensure success.

2. Choose consistency and realistic expectations.

Don't expect perfection over night or all the time because this may lead to frustration and discouragement. Instead of perfection strive for consistency and excellence. Keep your expectations realistic and only increase them with your skill level. Remember set you and your horse up for success this will build your confidence quickly.

3. Choose to learn from mistakes.

Mistakes are part of every journey, especially with horses. Choose to view a mistake as a temporary setback. If we hang on to mistakes or make excuses for them, we loose the opportunity to learn from them and therefore make significant changes for the better which will lead to gained confidence.

4. Choose optimism and to manage your emotional fitness.

Be optimistic. Believe you will be successful. Use positive affirmations when you are facing new challenges or dealing with plateaus that seem to go on forever. Remember to look back at your progress. Stop listening to that little voice of doubt that reminds you of all of your mistakes, and tells you all the things that could possibly go wrong in the future. That negative voice will chip away at your self-esteem causing you to question your abilities and will paralyze you from moving forward. Fight back, take action, and start talking back with positive affirmations every time it speaks.

5. Choose instruction, plus share and get feedback.

The idea of Women's Confident Leadership Camp was born after listening to story after story the past three years of how horse owners lacked confidence. We have discovered if we surround ourselves with uplifting and inspiring people in a positive environment it will boost our confidence level. Spending four full days with your horse and others who may be struggling with confidence will give you invaluable feedback for continued growth and learning. The sharing of suggestions for improved confidence will be delivered in a caring environment with time for reflective evaluation and practice with your horse. Find an instructor or study group who will support and encourage you.

6. Choose a good lesson horse.

Many people don't have the correct horse at this time to help them build confidence, especially if the person lacks experience. I'm not suggesting that you have to sell your horse and buy a new one. But I am suggesting that you need to find someone who has an honest lesson horse you can learn from. Then when you have more confidence and experience you will be able to be the kind of horseman your horse needs you to be.

Most of us who are very confident with horses can tell you all about the horse who inspired us to reach a higher level of horsemanship. These great horses are exceptional teachers who in addition to boosting our confidence level also provide great enjoyment. And isn't that why most of us have a horse? Enjoyment!

If you're not having fun because you lack confidence there are people and horses that can help. Start making some choices today that will lead to more confidence. You'll be glad you did and so will your horse.

If you want to sign up for one of our Women's Confident Leadership Camps go to www.heartinyourhand.com The next camp is Aug. 31-Sept. 3rd. Still time to sign up!

"Learning is not attained by chance, it must be sought for with ardor and attended to with diligence." -- Abigail Adams

Happy Trails,

Sherry Jarvis

This is Sorry looking back at you on a trail ride at the Women's Confident Leadership Camp I hosted and instructed at the Calamus Outfitters Ranch near Burwell, NE in Oct. of 2006.

Unfortunately Sorry hasn't been ridden all winter. She is quite full of energy, but the good thing is, it is controllable. I like her spirit and fire. We started out the day doing ground games on a trail walk. At first she wanted to run and show off her athleticism. I allowed it for a little while as long as she wasn't putting tension on the lead rope. I was amazed at how fast she could run without putting any tension on the line.

After allowing her to let off steam, I began to approach my request in a way that communicated when and how much speed was acceptable. I did this by mixing things up with backing, side-pass, change of directing and transitions. Plus there was plenty of time for grazing and relaxing.

By the time I saddled her she was ready to be ridden, because we were making connections. After saddling, a few more games and pre-flight checks, I mounted and sat for quite some time petting her, bending the nose around, and disengaging the hindquarters. Then I asked her to move forward, so I could take a passenger lesson. I was riding her in an alleyway next to the corrals. The pasture gates are open where the green grass lives and she knows it because we have just played there for the last hour.

In a passenger lesson your job is to ride without directing the horse. Just relax going where ever the horse goes in rhythm and time with his movements. The only thing you can do is ask them to go and stop. Use a one rein stop if they go faster than you are comfortable with. (Most people should start in a confined area).

When I asked Sorry to go, she moved a very short distance and stopped. I said thanks very much, gave her a pet and then asked her to more forward again by using my go buttons. She went forward on phase one. I like that. We have to repeat this several times. Then she started to go in tiny circles to the right in front of the gate. She stopped every-time at the opening to the gate of her corral (which by the way is closed and her buddies are in there). I didn't get worried or frustrated. Everytime she needed to stop, I stopped riding in my body, followed by more petting and another request for forward motion. I was thinking, "Do you like circles? ME TO!"

Once in a while she trotted the circle but did the same pattern, over and over and over. I was saying to myself, "Isn't this a fun trail ride?" I told her, "You can take me for a ride anywhere you want to go, and I'll be happy to go with you. The gate is open to the pastures. You're free to roam any place you like." Did she? NO.

About 20 minutes later the circles started to get bigger and she doesn't stop at the gate any more. I say, "Yahoo, I can see the mountains coming now. We are about to go on an adventure. I can't wait to see where you are going to take me, Sorry. I bet the views there are fantastic. I'm getting tired of this view, but it has been a fun ride." I think to myself at least we are riding and moving safely, with harmony, and at a controlled speed with no brace or resistance.

Next she started going down the fence line a little ways. And she would stop for a short time by a post. Followed by a retreat to the same gait. Each time she went a little further away from the gait to the next post. Remember I am not encouraging her or directing her. I am letting her take me on a trail ride. It was fun to be in harmony with her ideas. I was thinking about the beautiful mountain views that Keith and I used to see on our trail rides in WY.

It wasn't long before she went out the gate into the pasture. She was on a mission to go for a walk somewhere, because it was her idea. I hadn't pushed her past her thresholds. She had to approach and retreat a lot more than most people would be able to stand without getting into direct line thinking mode. But I didn't mind how many times she had to approach and retreat or how much time it took. It was worth it because her confidence in herself and in me as the kind of leader who won't push her over cliffs was more important than how much time it took.

She was still only going so far out into the pasture before she felt the need to retreat. However I was very happy that she walked back to her comfort zone with great calm. She didn't feel the need to hurry. It was like she was checking in. Then she would turn around and go a little further out into the pasture each time.

After a while I allowed her go out as far as she wanted in the pasture and when she tried to retreat I lifted the reins suggesting that we keep going straight and she said, "OK I can do that." And off we went through the second pasture gate without hesitation.

Now we were going on a trail ride together. I wasn't just riding her where she wanted to go and I wasn't taking her where she didn't want to go. We were going together.

I know some people say, I don't have time for all of that. I just want to go on a trail ride and NOW, DARN IT! My reply is, "You don't have to do all of this, but you may be sorry that you didn't."

These kinds of activities and communication of will cure your barn sour problems forever, because you gain your horses confidence and develop a connection of doing things together. If you don't do this, you will continue to have problems, because you horse doesn't trust you, and is not connected to listen to you when you need them to. The problem may go away sometimes, but it won't be permanently fixed, because there is a hole in the connection, or relationship.

"An unhurried sense of time is in itself a form of wealth." -- Bonnie Friedman

Happy Trails,

sherry Jarvis

www.heartinyourhand.com

Over the past seven years my equine friends have been my partners in a rapid emotional growth and development program which has changed my life. These dynamic and powerful yet fragile animals have required me to demonstrate clear communication, assertiveness, confidence, persistence, patience, forgiveness, empathy, justice, problem-solving, leadership, responsibility and relationship skills.

They have given me a regular report card about my progress or lack thereof as a savvy horsewoman and decent human being who is able to give love and compassion. Through direct observations of my behaviors and those of my horses I have seen patterns emerge which have guided me toward much needed character changes. I have allowed these magnificent creatures to be my therapists. They have mirrored me through their reactions, showing me both my strengths and weaknesses.

It is as if from each horse's mouth I have heard the whispers of my heart. I have listened to their requests and found some ways to follow their nature. I have wondered at their expressions and realized that I may never understand it all. More than anything I have discovered a joy and passion for life that leaves me speechless every time I am given the privilege of making a small connection with one of my equine friends.

A horse lovers journey that started at 2 years old is now a full fledged obsession which is giving me more blessings that I can count. A thank you will never be sufficient for all the good things that horses have given me. I feel indebted to help ensure their lives are as good as mine.

Tonight, I am feeling so grateful for all I have learned and experienced from horses that I wanted to let it be known. If you are a horse lover, you know what I am talking about, even though I am having trouble putting it into words. I hope that I can give back half of what I have received both to horses and any person who has a desire to cross the same path that I am traveling.

Happy Trails,

sherry

PS:

"The secret of success is constancy of purpose." -- Benjamin Disraeli

www.heartinyourhand.com